Monday, June 21, 2010

WHY ? ? ? ?

WHY IS IT THAT NO MATTER WHAT I TRY TO THINK ABOUT MY MIND WILL ALWAYS GO BACK TO SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED IN IRAQ? I KNOW THAT I'M NOT ALONE IN THIS HELL, BUT 99% OF THE TIME I FEEL ALONE IN MY MIND. I HAVE THE MOST WONDERFUL FAMILY ANY MAN COULD WISH FOR, BUT WHY DO I STILL FEEL ALONE????? I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO OR THINK. IM NOT REACHING OUT FOR ANSWERS REALLY IM JUST TRYING TO GET MY MIND OUT THERE. MORE TO COME LATER.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

GET THIS SHIT

HOLY SHIT!!! I HAVE A BOSS (the scared little bitch) THAT DOESN'T WANT ME TO WORK FOR HIM BECAUSE HE'S SCARED OF MY PTSD, AND THE FACT THAT I HAVE A BACK INJURY, AND MORE BUT HE DOESN'T KNOW THAT. THE OTHER NIGHT I WAS WORKING I HAD MADE A REQUEST TO DO SOME LIGHTER WORK FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS INSTED OF BENDING OVER EVERY FIVE SECONDS (which in legal terms from the ADA is a resonable accomodation) AND THE SCARED LITTLE BITCH DENIED IT.(OOPS ON HIS PART THAT WAS AGAINST THE LAW) SO LATER I HAD A TALK WITH HIM AND TOLD HIM THAT I DIDNT WANT TO RISK FALLING ON THE JOB, AND CAUSING ALL THAT WORKER'S COMP. BULLSHIT, AND I WENT HOME. WELL A FEW DAYS LATER I HEAR THAT HE HAS REQUESTED FOR ME TO BE REPLACED BECAUSE I CAN NOT DO THE JOB DUTY'S DUE TO MY BACK INJURY (OOPS AGAIN). I CANNOT BE FIRED, REPLACED OR ANYTHING ELSE BECAUSE OF A DISABILITY. SO IT HAS COME TO ME GOING TO SEE MY DOCTOR AND SEEING WHAT HE SAY'S, AND MY DOCTOR WILL PUT THAT I CAN LIFT SIXTY POUNDS AND THAT'S IT, BECAUSE HE KNOW'S THAT I AM COVERED UNDER THE AMERICAN DISABILITY ACT, AND THAT MY EMPLOYER HAS TO FOLLOW THE LAWS SET BY ADA. OH AND ALSO SINCE I HAVE PTSD I HAVE THE CHOICE TO TAKE EXTRA BREAKS IF I NEED TO.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Just another day

I know that I have as many things wrong with me as other combat vet's do, it's just hard to think that way when you don't hear about their things in life that they have going on. I'm just stuck here thinking am I going crazy, am i going insane, or am i just so fucked up in the head that people are scared of me..............

Monday, June 14, 2010

Just life

Being a Disabled Veteran (D.V.) that has been medically retired at the prime of his life can be hell in it's self. But now being a Med. Ret. D.V. trying to support your family and do a job that would be easy with out any injuries, but yup you guessed it i am not with out any injuries, physical and mental. The job that i was working at they knew about my disability ( I found out from my wife that my boss was scared that i might go "postal" because of my PTSD, gotta love small ass towns. yeah i know what a little bitch my boss is.) they still had me doing the most labor intensive work that there was, there were other jobs that i could have done with out bending over and picking up large pieces of stainless steel every 5 seconds. So that night i had to leave early because my leg was going to numb. Then the next day my father-in-law is going ballistic (that'll be another day) because my boss talked to him and I'm guessing that my boss failed to include all of my conversation, and just said that i didn't want to work there anymore. well today i am going to see my doctor to see if i fucked up my surgery on my back. Speaking of that i got to go so i can see my Doc.